I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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