Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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