No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Welp...herpes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
