I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize