i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
