Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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