Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
