Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
