i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
