Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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