I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
