somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
