dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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