I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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