Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just had sex on a roof
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
