I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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