need another drink. this is the easiest way
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize