I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
