why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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