coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
