shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
