I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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