so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
