i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who died my cat blue again?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
