But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
