I wanna passion pit in your ass
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize