I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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