4 words: hood of his car
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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