I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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