so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
