I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
