i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
