I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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