at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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