omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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