I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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