I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so let's talk penis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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