I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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