I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
