He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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