i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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