I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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