i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
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