Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
