You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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