I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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