Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize