"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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