i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
