there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
