I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
