wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
