as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
