I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just googled if crying burns calories
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
