how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
