I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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