what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
