I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
