Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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