a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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