She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
