Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
