I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
